“Smile, this is supposed to be fun,” said the British country squire to his 12-year-old daughter as she sat trembling on her huge horse, waiting to start her first run at an intimidating cross country jumping course.
In my experience a caregiver’s day-to-day life holds the same anticipation of the unknown, a jump ahead or around a corner could trip her up, send her headlong onto the ground. Daily perils for me now include the hurdles necessary to apply for Medicaid to cover nursing home expenses. Gopher holes abound. Like, if I don’t cross the t’s, dot the i’s, will Medicaid seize our assets?
Everyone’s case is different, but the obfuscation around this topic is epic, especially when a family is confronted with moving a loved one from the hospital to a nursing home without prior warning. Like when the hospitalist told me, “Ray has to move tomorrow.”
Equestrians who compete in cross-country jumping walk the course on foot before they actually mount up and ride. Do any hospitals have Medicaid Preparedness programs so patients and their families can be ready for this eventuality? Monthly nursing home out-of-pocket costs range from $10,000 and up, so Medicaid coverage is often a necessary option hidden under a blanket.
Ray’s motto is, “Remember who you are and who you represent.” If you changed your last name in 1955 as Ray did, he remembers who he is, but proving it to Medicaid is another matter. The representing part is easy. He is himself.
First, I ordered a copy of his birth certificate, then our marriage certificate to prove who I am and finally the decree showing the name change. In our case and I’m sure many others, there are bank accounts, real estate titles, and a tight Medicaid timeline, not taking into account how long it will be once the application is submitted and approved. It’s pretty simple for freelance journalists like us, but for others there could be retirement accounts, stock portfolios and other holdings to account for.
An estate planning attorney can help. Several weeks into this learning curve I discovered www.canhr.org a nonprofit site where you can get free information and advice about the Medicaid, or in California Medi-Cal maze of information you didn’t care about until now.
“Smile, this is supposed to be fun.”
Caregiving is a far stretch from fun, however it’s proven a smile, either forced, fake or genuine is known to release endorphins and boost your mood. And the endorphins of those around you. I knew a horse trainer who smiled when he talked on the phone. I could hear the smile in his voice and I smiled back.
As always, stunning writing! xo
I think you may be visiting a House of Horrors; you're having trouble finding the exit door and beginning to wonder if one was even built. It's really not you, Barbara, and in fact, thank heaven you're who you are with the skills you have. For care managers, it's a systemic failure all around them. That said, this may be my favorite article of yours yet. ❤ to you both.