Four Syllable Mush
The words caretaker, carer and shared caring have been pestering me. Is it merely semantics, and what do these words have to do with real life? After all they’re only words, right? What is happening to the simple fact of caregiving? One gives care, the other receives it.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” I don’t think that’s true anymore. In these days words have endless barbs and connotations, subtleties from identifying your political bent to pigeonholing you with a lift of the eyebrow. Specifics are replaced with four syllable mush to avoid spilling the beans.
Today words are blunt weapons of influence.
I tell people to “take care” but if someone is taking care doesn't it sound like taking back or taking from someone else? Is there a storage tank of care somewhere? Or a CARE card connected to your bank account?
“Carer.” It’s hard to say, it gets stuck in the back of my throat like a vitamin capsule first thing in the morning. I care about the birds in the trees that surround our house, I care about democracy but that’s not even close to the emotional, physical and mental core of care required for down and dirty caregiving.
Words sanitize real life and if someone feels the need to change how they refer to themselves, not a caregiver, but a carer I sense self censorship.
Where does political correctness fit in with caregiving?
I agree with the concept of “care sharing” but who out there is coming up with these self-identifiers that have little basis in reality when the person receiving care can’t care for themselves? Isn’t that what caregiving is about? Sharing care in the right circumstance could be about each person taking a piece of the puzzle to figure out, but what if the puzzle pieces change each day? What fits in the curve and shape of shared caring one day grows pointed horns the next. Do we negotiate every day over who puts the shoes and socks on but won’t be able to manage it tomorrow, or do we let love call the shots?
This one hit home with me — the once English teaching assistant, the teacher, the grad student who was indignant about a required class on the history of the English language, and the law student whose grades were saved by writing skills. I also think about the variations of "caregiver" I see in use today, and, a couple ot times, even used "carer," thinking it must be a more current usage. No, it's a British Commonwealth terminology. But I'm guessing that you and I, as a journalist and writer, are likely to dwell on these things more than most... and I admit I do. To me, the changes are curious and annoying. However, for the overly creative creators who started the movement, I recommend using an online thesaurus and dictionary. 🙄 Great article, Barbara!